Krispy Kreme: The Dilemma
Today marks the opening of the new Krispy Kreme store in Cardiff. It’s in St David’s Centre, underneath the escalator, by Pulp…
Belly: Rumble! Rumbly Rumbletons!
Brain: You can’t just say rumble. You have to do it.
Do you mind? I’m trying to write here. According to yourcardiff, some people got there at 4 o’clock the day before to queue up for the delicious doughnuts.
Why weren’t we there? Why aren’t we there now?
Because there’s not a trace of nutritional value to be found in them. And you’re big enough as it is.
Blah blah blah you’re no fun, you need to lighten up.
If anything needs lightening it’s you. Plus they’re something like £3 each.
They’re not that much dude, I thought you were meant to be the smart one.
Well they’re expensive. You can get four lemon drizzle ones in Greggs for £2.
Booooorrrrring. Stop boring people. I’m bored of Greggs anyway.
You were demanding a steak bake only the other day!
No I didn’t. Not since they changed the recipe.
You did. Right, I’ve seriously got to finish this article.
And what contrived trope will you be employing this time? A report written in a style of recipe? Or are going to rip off “Pass Notes” again? Wait, how about a poor pastiche of that takeaway advert on the telly?
Don’t listen to him, I think you’re fab. You should treat yourself. Have a doughnut.
You’re as subtle as a sledgehammer. Anyway if you have to have a fix of empty calories, you should support local businesses, there’s that cupcake shop in Dominions arcade, rather than some multinational conglomerate peddling fast food and obesity.
When did fairy cakes become cupcakes?
Wow have you regressed ten years? Gonna slip on that old Che Guevara t-shirt, watch a Michael Moore film and draw hammer and sickles on your folders like in school?
Probably couldn’t even fit in that t-shirt now thanks to your land grab or should that be flab grab?
That doesn’t even make sense.
Right, fine I’m not going to bother with this article if you guys are simply gonna bicker and put me off.
That’s for the best; no one was going to read it anyway.
True. But don’t go around blaming us for you not writing the article, when we all know you’re going to head straight over to Guardian Football site.
Screw you guys, I’ve got other work to do.
Yeah but you won’t do it.
That. Is. It.
What’s he doing? Where’s he taking us?
Oh no. Not again. Sam! Put the remote down. Oh God he’s going to make me watch ITV2. I’m sorry! OK? I’ll shut up. Please stop it, I can feel myself dying.
Are those prunes?
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8 Comments – Postiwch sylw
CeefaxOfLife
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 13:36pm
Belly's gonna get ya! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxzdo8FfrW0
Sam (Sub-Editor)
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 14:28pm
neilramsden
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 14:39pm
This article seems like evidence of mental health problems. You might need help, but God help me, I'm not going to be the one to give it to ya. Funny stuff.
AndyCole
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 18:45pm
Andy Cole once said: "If you were a pro footballer like me, you'd be able to eat as many doughnuts as you wanted."
Maybe that wasn't his quote, but he speaks the truth. Time to change career? Do it for the doughnuts.
Sam (Sub-Editor)
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 19:47pm
@neilramsden Obligatory link to mental health pages.
@AndyCole Thanks man. Hey when's your next single coming out, it's been like what 10 years since Outstanding?
AndyCole
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 19:51pm
Doughnuts are the issue here, not my failed music career that I never knew I even attempted, let's not dodge that. Gosh dammit.
Sam (Sub-Editor)
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 19:56pm
Maybe the doughnuts blunted your mad rhyming skillz?
"Sharp like a razor.
Speed to amaze ya."
AndyCole
Rhoddwyd sylw 13 mis yn ôl - 19th April 2011 - 20:02pm
Call me butter, cos I'm on a roll (or doughnut...)