Information » Family & Relationships » Being in Care » Relationship with your parents
- Going into care doesn´t mean that you will never see your birth family again. In fact, most young people will return to live with their parents again after a short time
- Being in care can be a very difficult time and you will feel many different emotions towards your parents. These could include:
- Anger – you have been taken away from your family. You might feel it was your parents´ fault
- Rejection – you might feel your parents didn´t try and stop social services or that they wanted you to leave
- A sense of loss – you miss your family, your home and your old life. It´s natural to be home sick
- Sadness – you might feel you have lost everything you know
- Relief – things might have been too difficult for you at home
- Guilt – you might feel it was something you did. Remember, going into care is not a form of punishment and it rarely has anything to do with you and your behaviour
- You will be encouraged by your social worker to try and keep in touch with your birth family but this is entirely your decision. It is understandable if you do not want to see them. It´s up to you
- You might want to see your brothers or sisters but not your parents and that is fine too
- Talk to your social worker about how you feel about your parents and discuss what you want to do, if anything, about seeing them
- However, if you are in care by order of a court (i.e. care order), the court will decide who you can and cannot see. This will be in your best interests given each individual situation and for your own safety. It might be hard to accept the decision at first
- You know your parents better than anyone and it has to be you who decides what sort of relationship you have with them now you are in care. Some young people stay close to their family during their time in care and return home when the family are ready, but others choose to not have any contact with them at all. Some will just see them a few times a year. There is no right or wrong decision and it is up to you
