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Information » Family & Relationships » Separation and Loss » Loss

The feeling of loss can be terrible. You may be experiencing the loss of a baby or a pet, somebody you are close to may have gone missing or your may feel like you have lost a friend if they have moved away
This section is divided into different topics to cover different types of loss to help you find what you are looking for:

Loss during pregnancy

Miscarriage

As miscarriage is not fully understood, some miscarriages happen for no apparent reason. Most miscarriages are beyond your control don´t blame yourself. It happens to a lot of women
It can be an extremely upsetting time so look to your partner, family and friends for support. Talk to your doctor too and feel free to ask any questions you like
You can usually still have children in the future if you have miscarried and many mothers go on to have several children after a failed pregnancy

Termination

Terminating a pregnancy is a very difficult decision to make and so it is best to speak to a GP about your options first. There could be many reasons for terminating a pregnancy. It could be that you feel you can´t cope with having a baby or it could be for medical reasons. Whatever the reason it is best to get support
Terminations are a safe medical procedure and do not affect your ability to have children in the future
Going through a termination is not easy for anybody and so it is important you get all the support you need from your partner, family or friends
Many women experience feelings of guilt, stress, depression and a sense of loss afterwards
Abortions are an emotive subject with many opinions for and against. Remember, it´s your decision. It is your body so YOU decide
Before making any decision, talk to your GP to get all the information you need
See the links at the end of this section for a list of sources you can contact for advice, facts, information and support. They are there to listen to you, so you don´t have to deal with the emotional strain on your own
You may want to look at ABORTION in the health section of this website

Loss at birth

Losing your baby at birth is a highly emotional experience and you will need lots of support to help you. As well as getting over the trauma of birth and all the hormones that come with it, you will also be grieving
If it is possible, you might find it helps to see and hold your baby. Talk this through with someone like your partner or your doctor. You don´t have to do anything you don´t want to do
The midwife can take a photograph for you to keep which can give you an opportunity to express your feelings and come to term with what has happened. Only do this if you are entirely comfortable with it and don´t feel pressurised
It will take time for you to overcome the feelings you have. Be gentle on yourself and don´t feel disheartened if things don´t get better straight away. You are grieving
It is vital you get all the support you need. Talk to those around you and let them know how you are feeling. You might want to consider having a funeral for your baby but this is a very personal choice you must make with your partner
See the links at the bottom of this section for sources of support and advice

Missing persons

Around 200,000 people from Britain go missing from their families each year. However, most of them come home within a few days
If you are missing a relative or loved one it can be a very worrying and distressing time
Surround yourself with people you are close to. It´s important to stick together, to share your feelings and support each other
If you want to trace a missing person, see the links at the end of this section for information and advice. They are there to help you get in contact with the person you are missing

Friends moving away

As we grow older, our lives change and many people move to different places
There are many reasons why people move away – it may be due to a break-up, a change in job, a new school or sometimes people want to start afresh in a new place
It is completely natural for your friendship groups to change through school and more often when you leave school and start to make bigger decisions about your career and your relationships
If your friend has moved away, this doesn´t mean you can´t be friends anymore. Although you might not see each other as much, you can still stay in touch by phone, email, MSN, by writing to each other or visiting
It is very normal to feel sad and lonely when a close friend moves away. These feelings will pass with time though and you will soon make new friends at school or at work who you will become close to

Pets

When your pet dies, it is normal to experience the same feelings as if a person had died. They feel like part of your family sometimes
Losing a pet you have looked after and cared for can be very upsetting. It will take time for you to get used to your pet not being here anymore
However sad and upset you are, remember that things will get better over time
Share your feelings with your parents or carers as it is important not to let your feelings build up inside
It may help to hold a memorial or ceremony for your pet - it will give you the chance to say goodbye
You may want to have a look at the section on death on this website too. It details the emotional and physical effects of dealing with a death

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