Addiction: My Story Update
As many of you know, I have now flown the proverbial nest, sailed the ocean proverbial blue, and am settling into the Land of Proverbial Freedom. I must admit, I like the word proverbial. It's almost as good as moist. I bet I'm not even using it right here, but it's good to proverbially slip it into the odd sentence. But I digress!
Living in America, specifically Texas, I've noticed something. Iced Tea is one of the two most common drinks in restaurants. As I am writing this, I have just finished up a bottle of some rather wonderful Snapple Peach Tea, made with Green & Black's tea leaves. However, this is not the only form the lethal substance is available in here.
It seems that many people involved in the dark world of PITT (Peach Iced Tea Trading, to those of you not in the business) like to store their excess "sweet stuff" in powdered form. As a powder, the sweet stuff is much stronger, and the sugar high comes so much faster. However, there is a drawback; it stains your fingers orange. Many people walk around in midsummer, 100+ degree heat (Fahrenheit, not Celsius, that would just be silly) wearing woolly gloves and mittens, to hide their dark secrets.
I've recently finished my first jar of Powder PIT, or, "orange sugar", and disposing of it is proving difficult. I can't just put it in the bin, then they will see. Don't ask who they are, even I don't know. But I know that they are always watching. Always.
I considered burning it, but then I realised, a log fire in a house in the middle of summer would be a bit conspicuous. I thought about shredding it, but the last few grains of orange sugar would remain, and the Sniffer Dogs would pick up on it. Then, disaster struck; the wildfires hit East Austin.
In the black of night, I snuck under the proverbial cover of darkness into the heart of the flames, and threw down the tin. I watched as it burned away into nothing and then fled as my cloak caught fire. It was a close call, but it was worth it, to escape the long arm of the law.
Kids, if strange French people offer you mysterious drinks with abnormally high sugar content, just say no. It's OK; the worst they can do is kill you, and if I'm being honest here, I believe you'd be better off dead than sucked into the Fake Pokémon Card Market, the PITT, or even the FLAPS (Fans with Love for All Peachy Substances). Believe me, dear readers, if I'd known where that mysterious French student saying, "You will drink it, no?" would take me, I would have replied firmly, and left, as a happier person than I am today.
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IMAGE: Peach Snapple by Tim O'Bryan
1 Comment – Post a comment
Stormer007
Commented 8 months ago - 22nd September 2011 - 20:07pm
Love it!