Short Story: My First Prayer
This short story has been entered in theSprout Short Story Competition.
Everything was in slow motion. The words tumbled out of the Officer’s mouth like thick, disgusting treacle. It was as if I was hearing my Mother’s screams through a glass window; everything was muddled, distant. I couldn’t move. Roots were growing out from my feet, extending and stretching through the foundations of my house. I was going to be sick. This was wrong; just so, so wrong. Tom would just walk through the door at any minute ‘Only joking!’ he would say, ‘I’m fine really’. But he didn’t. Somehow, my body started working of its own accord, steering itself past my distraught parents, past the condoling policemen, up the stairs and into my room.
Sitting on my bed, I finally let go. Sobbing, howling; with fat tears soaking my face, each one filled with my uncontrollable sorrow. He was gone. My big, grown-up brother was gone. Suicide they said. He jumped off a bridge they said. Washed away in the river they said. Killed on impact. This isn’t fair; how did I not see this coming? He was always so happy, so bright; what drew him to something like this? He’s left me. He’s actually left me. How could he do this, when I needed him the most?
I did something then I’d never thought I’d do. I prayed. I got down on my knees by my bed, rested my arms on my mattress, put my hands together, and prayed to God. ‘Just, look after him.’ That was all I said; that was enough. I lay down on my carpet floor and tucked myself into a ball. As my eyes filled up once again, I started singing; Rule the World, his favourite song. Although he would never admit to liking Take That, I’d always hear him singing the song around the house, in the car, even in the middle of a football match once. He liked cats too. Constantly bringing stray cats home, even as he got older. He couldn’t bear to let them wander the streets like that. All these little details of my brother, I would never see again.
I was completely weak, all my energy had been drained out of me with my tears as I lay there crying. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if I’d never got up again. I was unimportant without Tom, worthless. I felt my eyes flickering shut, I was completely exhausted. The last thing I thought of before I fell asleep was of my brother. His huge grin spread wide across his face; his slight gap tooth and twinkling green eyes gave me my last bit of peace before I flew away to dreamland.
IMAGE: Shoot Art, Not Each Other
