Short Story: Devious Intentions
Words by Samantha Wainwright
Ah Hell, this sucks.
I gasped helplessly, trying to forget the burning in my chest as I ran through the housing quarters.
Damn this corset!
Before I could suffocate and die I ripped the stupid thing open with my bare hands, exposing my body wildly from beneath my dress.
Ugh... What a pathetic excuse for formal wear.
If I had my way it would be classy, plain and pure. However I was ornamented, twisted and beautified to try and make myself "special". I was like a tainted fairy, a moth in the eyes of magic.
Who needed pleats? Stockings? Corsets?
Beauty was subjective, surely not?
If that who were in charge of all things right, were to claim that wearing tutu's and jesters hats were "formal and beautiful", would it make it just that?
I looked behind me eagerly; the pigs were still following, drunken and violent.Removing my heels and releasing my feet from their iron maiden of pain. I continued to run, despite my discomfort. As I drew closer to the main block, as far away from the main hall and party as possible, I realised my energy had run dry. Fatigue had soon caught up and reminded me how stupid it was to skip dinner. I scurried through the deserted, cobbled corridors until I found my room. Lightly pushing open the teak door I collapsed helplessly on my bed.
Forget it Pearl... You're a disgrace... my inner thoughts and the ideals of my family suffocated my pride, drowned out my true character. Usually I was stronger than this...
I dug my nails deep into the palm of my cold hands, trying to stop the tempest from escaping my eyes. They burned with sorrow, a life like this was surely not worth living - a life where you were forever judged and a ridiculed for not being the same, the same as the "perfect" family who raised you. Independent thought was a myth, a lie. To have it was to be slaughtered. Metaphorically of course, because that's how I feel, I am dying... the longer I live here the closer I draw to death. The death of who I am.
A loud bang thundered through my room, ceasing my attention and stifling my tears. Instinct told me not to speak.
"Pearl! I know you're in there!" Edward... no...
His pompous, drunken face was the last thing I wanted to see right now.
"Damn it Pearl! You..." his voice was furious, angry, but his last word had mumbled of into something unintelligible. I cringed and hid my face into my pillow, dreading what would happen next.
He opened the door with a kick. Why hadn't I locked it?
He looked at me evilly, a dark shadow covering him, creating an aura of dread.
"Go away." I mumbled, lifting my head slightly to look at him. My attempt of standing up for myself was short outlived. He marched over to me and smack my face. The sound was like thunder - terrifying, loud like an unwanted clasp of authority.
Tears threatened once again and my eyes burned with the attempt of trying to stop them. He wouldn't see me cry. The slap held its burn on my face, making me stroke it unintentionally. I looked at him and slowly raised my hands up his chest. He seemed aroused by it and didn't pull away, he looked at me smugly. "I knew you couldn't resist me." he chuckled smiling queasily at me. As I got higher I felt myself kneel on the bed until my hands were cupping his face. "You were wrong." I whispered seductively, spitting in his face.
OK, that may have been a bit stupid.
He slapped me again, wiping the spit away, disgusted. He pushed me on the bed and roared in anger. It was terrifying. I felt my heart beat like a drum from beneath my chest, predicting danger.Edward pinned me down, his arms a steel barrier.
"Your parents are very fond of me, you know," he whispered in my ear, making me feel sick"You really should be to." He began to kiss the side of my neck, making my scream in fury - wanting help desperately. I didn't want to be touched by him. He kept my hands pinned down; this wasn't the first time it had happened.
I screamed again, this time directly in his ears. He seemed only partially fazed by it, before he crushed his mouth with mine. The kiss was nauseating. Everything I stood against embracing me so intimately. He broke free and began to kiss my neck again, effortlessly keeping me controlled.
I ran out of options.
I freed my eyes from their tight seal, the motion that signalled fear and helplessness. I looked at him continuing to kiss my body. "Argh!" I screamed, my voice feminine and petrified as I head butted him. He immediately broke free and held his head in pain. My time was running short. Disoriented and dizzy I grabbed the lantern hanging above my bed and smashed it over his head sending him to the floor, unconscious. I screamed in shock fear at first as blood began to escape his wound, the one I had made. Feeling sick I grabbed onto my wall for support.
I'd killed him? I'd killed him!
Nothing was for sure but this time I couldn't stop the tears. I was paralysed; I had become a weeping statue, too afraid to move. The body stared at me with closed eyes. I wailed again, more like a banshee this time trying to attract attention to my kill.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I wasn't proud of this! I wasn't...
It suddenly became very hot, I had to escape.
I looked instinctively towards the window.
Running to it, I stuck my head out letting the cold air brush my sweaty face. I was flushed, blazed with anger and regret.
I looked down but the height didn’t make me stumble, I was feeling too sick for that already.
Without thought, I hooked myself out of the window and hung from the ledge.
Kill myself? Cover my tracks?
It was all very dramatic, stupid even.
Slowly I felt my way down the high building, submerging myself within the bleak darkness.
Of course I had tried to escape before, but my cowardly nature had brought me back.
This time I couldn’t go back.
In the heat of the moment I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Even if I hadn’t killed Edward he could still regain consciousness and tell everyone what had happened and then I would surely be shunned from the family. As I descended further and further my dress ripped and tore, destroying the whole damn thing.When I reached the ground I let my feet carefully find solid earth before I ran for my life, ran for my dignity… ran for myself.
My feet became ragged from the rocky floor and by shoulders exposed. However this did not stop my run. As I was running from Edward earlier, I tried desperately to get away from him again. Panting and sweating but more dominantly crying as I escaped the fantasy of the primp and polished world I once lived in. My intentions of the night were to do something about the way I lived, but not nearly to this extreme.
Nothing as devious as this was planned… and then I thought about that for a second - had I lured Edward there? Had I planned for that to happen? Was I as sly as my family, as devious as a fox… like an untamed horse, wild with intentions on the flight of fancy.
I fell to the ground and cupped my face, trying to make sense of it all.
Letting out a final cry to the night, howling like a wolf trying to drown her sorrows in the moon I tried to suppress this memory, this life.
I tried to forget.
However Edwards’s face haunted my mind and it was idiotic to think I was pure and untouched now.
Just forget… Forget it...
Information on what to do if things go wrong in your family or in a relationship
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2 Comments – Post a comment
RoLouG
Commented 22 months ago - 3rd August 2010 - 16:03pm
wow this is amazing
Sambow
Commented 22 months ago - 4th August 2010 - 08:28am
thanks but reading back through it all seems a little too dramatic. cringe, I guess I just had fun writing this that I didn't realise how over the top it sounded.
Oh well, I enjoyed doing it- not really something new for me, another run away. I probably need new material. XD
Thanks again :)