Transition Update: August 2012
In ten or so months I have achieved:
- First body modification of cutting 20 inches off my hair (I gave it to Cancer Research to make wigs and earned £100 for them doing it)
- Came out to all my friends and most of my family
- Started using a makeshift binder from Poundland
- Threw away my bras
- Got my second proper binder, it's an underworks one and is great!
- Started using the disabled toilets instead of the women’s
- Finally got the confidence to start using the men’s (no more hiding!)
- Got my school to register me as Cosmo (on the preferred name list) and let me used the disabled toilets in school
- Went to my GP and got her to request funding for Tavistock & Portman, still no news about that though
- Being called the right pro-nouns by strangers
- Stop most dysphoria-related self-harming, still got a way to go yet
- Starting be able to deal with transphobic abuse and being called the wrong pro-nouns (it's hard to take anonymous abuse seriously when they can't even use the right your and you're)
I am getting stronger and more able to accept myself everyday. I have come this far and there is no turning back now. I need to keep reminding myself of everything I have done, am doing and will do in time. No one other than myself can make this happen. So I don't really have a choice but to fight for this. I get a lot of s*** for being so open and to be honest I could really give less of a f***. I am who I am, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here and I'm queer, loud and proud!
I don't for one second think I have it the hardest so I'm not really sure why people think that. I know a lot of other trans* who aren't even able to come out to their parents. I can't imagine how painful that must be. I saw a poster of statistics for trans* lives in the US; 19% were refused medical care, 19% have experienced homelessness, 41% can't change the gender on their IDs, 57% were rejected by their families and 47% have attempted suicide.
It sickens me when people tell me I go on about it too much like it doesn't matter. It does matter. Open your minds and illuminate yourselves or it cost someone their life. One of the reasons I am so determined to beat this isn't just for me, it's for trans* people everywhere. People who have been abused and outcast for such a trivial thing as gender. So really go for it, knock yourself out trying to stop me and bring me down, it isn't going to work.
No one is going to listen unless I talk, so I'm talking.