The Sprout

X Factor – The Backlash Begins

Posted by Portia Nicholson from Cardiff - Published on 11/11/2009 at 20:20
3 comments » - Tagged as Music, People, Topical

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Yn Gymraeg

Another gripping X Factor this weekend that saw Welsh songstress Lucie Jones booted out and the gruesome twosome John and Edward, referred to affectionately as "Jedward" by fans, remain on our screens thanks to the executive decision of Simon Cowell.  Now to the regular X Factor viewer this may appear somewhat puzzling given Cowell’s recent comments on the minions of Satan, let me refresh your memory. “If they win, it will be a complete and utter disaster. I'd probably sulk for about six months and I'd probably get on a very fast plane out of the country." Oh Simon, don’t tempt us; a week’s a long time in telly land and suddenly the twin’s tuneless, gurning, ineptitude and complete detachment from reality, frankly looks quite attractive in terms of TV ratings.

Over the past few weeks as the twins have tackled such vocally challenging songs as Britney Spears' Oops!... I Did It Again, We Will Rock You (the 5ive version complete with rapping) and most recently Ghostbusters featuring an elaborate set design that’s centrepiece was a cardboard-cut-out car. The judges have had mixed reactions to the twins so far, ranging from disbelief, abject horror, bemusement and in Louie Walsh’s case unexplainable elation.

Despite the weekly murdering of songs, the public, who are always game for a laugh, have kept them in and the judges, for lack of any appropriate adjectives, or indeed any suitable for broadcast, have kept using weak phrases like “You’re fun but out of you’re depth”. Well apart from Cowell, who up until now has played the part of the pantomime villain to perfection and kept grumpily insisting “It's a singing competition, and they can't sing”.

However the public are a fickle sort and appear to have rapidly tired of twin mania and are weary of the ironic 'Vote Jedward' campaign and so last Sunday it was talented-but-dull Lucie and the twins in the bottom two. Naively it had been assumed that the twins would be fast tracked back to the Emerald Isle faster than you could say "Ryanair", given that it is supposedly a ‘talent show’. Predictably Dannii Minogue kept Lucie, Louis interestingly decided to send Lucie home to ‘save the boys’, not, it would seem, to preserve their talent. Princess Cheryl Cole, aware of the eyes of the nation upon her, saved Lucie. Then Simon, in what must have been a ratings induced panic did a complete 180 and promptly decided he would like to see the boys next week and so like a man, passed the buck to the public which of course means that Lucie comes out with the least public votes and so cue the outrage of a nation. Hell hath no fury like a public scorned.

Facebook went wild, the predicable “I’m NEVER watching X Factor again” status overloaded feeds everywhere and so called fans quickly signed up to ‘Boycott X Factor' groups. Meanwhile over at Twitter, bloggers, writers, fans and even some celebs had whipped themselves into a 140-character frenzy, boldly stating that the show had now lost credibility. Credibility? This would be the same show that featured such memorable hits as It’s Chico Time and was first won by the talentless, sleazy Steve Brookstein, who looked more like a dodgy cabbie than a popstar. Cowell couldn’t have produced more outrage if he had actually killed and eaten a kitten on stage, as venomous bile spewed over the Internet in a matter of minutes. “Simon should be sacked,” asserted one tweeter, er sorry love, how can he be sacked when his production company makes the show?

One Welsh radio station immediately posted a “Get Lucie Back” petition, presumably because the Laura White petition last year was so successful and then declared it was the ‘biggest shock in TV history!’ Well it’s not really a shock though is it, Cowell making a business-related decision on a money making ITV popularity contest? I mean drippy Leon Jackson actually winning the X Factor previously was probably a bigger shock as it were.

The hysteria has yet to die down as Lucie embarks on a whirlwind media tour gushing about how the twins “deserve to be in the X Factor” and insisting that “they can sing” without a hint of irony. Poor girl must want to go at them with a chainsaw but presumably this would not help her inevitable solo career.

The media have relished in the madness, boringly and stupidly predicting “The end of X Factor”. Are they real? The bloody Afghanistan war will be over before X Factor leaves our screens.

I feel sorry for the hurt and confused public, innocently proclaiming “but Simon said it was a singing contest”. Oh people, people, honestly have you not realised it always has and always will be about the money? Cowell might as well have had dollar signs scorched upon his eyeballs as he scans the screaming crowds and the massive Jedward media coverage. Those X Factor tour tickets aren’t going to be sold on the merit of Lucie’s note perfection, people will want to come and see the freakshow, we want massacred pop songs sung by creepy identical twins preferably wearing studded leather.

Also for the record, the X Factor isn't a singing competition, it’s a cynical search for a pop star who can shift a crap load of records, make Christmas number one and have Cowell laughing all the way to the bank and surprisingly against all the odds, the twins look as though they might be able to do that.

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